Forsaking all others

Mary J. Blige-We Ride (World Premiere)

“God will not answer your prayers because of the iniquity in your heart”

I rarely answer my cell phone when I’m home. Partly because I’m always doing something. I have two children who still need me to provide them with a clean house, good food and a proper education.

It’s also because I don’t want to hear any bullshit.

This Sunday, Scribe and I had a rare weekend off from the kids. Me and Mom mended our fences once again…trying to come to a higher level….where she recognizes that I am an adult….and where I recognize that by being her first child and only daughter…she needs to spend more time with me…..but she also needed to understand that in order for me to do that…..some things have got to change.

So I’m home doing a little overtime…..and my godmother called me.

I’ll be honest…I didn’t pick up the phone the first time she called….But when she called a second time….I picked up….

Why did I do that?

We began to talk….we haven’t spoken since her granddaughter’s party….where Scribe and my mother finally bonded over shots of Jack Daniels…..before that…it had been months…because of the same reason which I am about to explain now….

As I began to tell her all the things that had be going on in my life…the Te.a.ch Am.er.ic.a interviews….the relocation plans….finally finalizing my degree (a whole ‘nother story)…

She stopped me….and said the phrase that I highlighted above….

I was like huh? She said that because Scribe and I were living in sin…God was not and will not be answering my prayers….

Wanna know what I said?

Ha ha ha….you know Ima tell you!

I said:

You know what? I don’t discuss my relationship with my mother or anyone else in my family. I am 33 years old and at this point I don’t feel like I need validation from you or anybody else on my choice to be with this man…

She then said that I was mad at God because I didn’t want to listen to her. And she was only trying to tell me the Word and that I didn’t want to listen because I knew I was going to Hell. That God wasn’t listening to me or answering my prayers because of the sin I was committing….

What a thing to say….

I proceeded to say:

Well since you insist on discussing this…..How in the heck do you know that God isn’t listening to me? Do you know what I have prayed for and how He has answered me? This man I am in love with is an answered prayer in itself!

Of course then she came back with: that sin is pleasurable…and though it may feel good…it’s only for a season…

Ha! My retort was: You know what? You said that at the beginning of this relationship….told me it wouldn’t last and that I was giving my body up for sin…..ok…so now it has been almost 8 months…and we have been through 3 seasons….spring, summer, fall….and now winter….so just which season is it supposed to be in that this man that I love is supposed to leave me? Huh? I guess no man knoweth the day or the hour huh?

Why is it that before you began to judge me…you couldn’t first ask me about our plans…whether we had any intention on getting married….whether plans had been made….if you had asked first….you would know that plans have already been made….and I believe him…and I believe in Him….GM, you have not spent any time with us….and this is our second phone conversation in 8 months! You know nothing about our lives together….what wonderful things have already happened….the proof that I have already received from God that my life is on the right path….all you know is I’m living with a man outside of marriage…so when we get married next year…this conversation will be moot then right? Or will I be judged on the past then?

You have no right to say that God isn’t listening to me because I am sinning….Everyone sins….sin of envy, gluttony…jealousy…strife….No man is perfect….not you…not me…no one…yet you believe God answers your prayers right…even though you sin…whether it be in the flesh…or in your heart….but he can’t be answering mine right? Wrong….Even when Jesus met the woman at the well…He didn’t judge her because she was living with a man who was not her husband….He had ample time to do so….we could have had a recorded record of how He called her a harlot and where He told her to leave the man in order to receive salvation….

But He said none of that…..yet you decide that it is your duty to condemn me whenever you speak to me….I really don’t care what you think about what blessings I may or may not be getting…you don’t know what’s going on this house….so you have no clue….I thank you for sharing your experience with me (because by this point she began to tell me how she lived with child’s father and how he never married her)…But Scribe is not your ex man….and if you’ll remember I have been married before….so I’m no stranger to this sort of business….

I went on to tell her that I appreciate her calling…because I know it was out of love….misguided though it may be…..but the honest truth is…I don’t need ANYONE telling me what to do with my relationship….and I suggested that she might want to direct these kinds of calls to her own unmarried, un-working daughter…who is still being supported by her and the dude that wouldn’t marry her…

I know Scribe was listening…it was kind of hard not to…I can get pretty loud when discussing something passionately….but there was no anger…no rancor in my voice…I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings…I mean…why should I when mine weren’t hurt? Besides…I don’t work that way….

Forsaking all others….

That’s what this relationship is based on….she wasn’t the first to speak against what I am doing…and won’t be the last…but what they don’t know is that this bond is strong between me and Scribe…stronger than a diamond…a piece of paper…and ultimately stronger than any person’s judgments.

It’s a wonderful thing when you have someone you can look forward to seeing everyday…where you are in constant discussion about your goals …together….and working toward them in tandem every single day! …like I told my sis last night :

He’s Foine, smart, well dressed, well spoken, generous…loves my children… and well hung….what the hell else do I need?

NOTHING!

My prayers have already been answered….in an abundance!

Matter fact…let me just let Mary sing the rest….

Let’s Ride Daddy!